As I mentioned in my week one February blog, I was going to discuss in week two, a topic on love, relationships, and marriage. In this four-part series Valentine’s message this being #2, “Marriage as Being a Gift From God”, I was not sure what direction this writing would take me, so I just started pecking away at the keys on my computer and let the spirit lead me. So, I want to start off by saying, I am a strong believer in marriage. I have over 25 years’ experience of being a wife, and I immensely enjoy being a loving- supportive partner and a best friend to my “soulmate” but unfortunately for me, these total years of marriage were not with one partner. This blog is for anyone who can relate, but it is geared specifically towards those who are of the Christian faith and those who see marriage as being of one husband and one wife [man and woman] (Genesis 2:18 -23)
We humans can at times find ourselves twisted up in unnecessary conundrums when it comes to trying to figure out unequally yoked marriages. Most of us knew that once we’d gotten into it, there was “nothing” blessed about it. Some of us even knew beforehand that if we married that person, we felt in our guts it was going to be an uphill battle. We clearly saw the red flags and yellow cautions signs saying, “do not proceed!” …. but we put our blinders on because of our own specific reasoning. and we do go ahead with it anyway. That my friend is a set-up for a lifetime of pain and suffering as my friend would say – “you are putting a nail in your own coffin” – (meaning something that causes the end or failure of a thing). When I say right mate, I am not saying that that person would be perfect without any flaws because we all are imperfect beings. Only the Creator himself is perfect.
I know some who may be reading this is saying what about us who are not believers. Most unbelievers marriages are going stronger than Christian marriages and have lasted for many years. But again, I am not focusing on those individuals; I am focusing on Christians who want to know how to enter into a marriage that is blessed by God. Marriage is honorable to God. But, in every marriage there will be issues and trials, it is up to the individuals to decide if the marriage is worth it. I believe, if you have given your all and you have tried with your mate several times and you wind up without any progress. Then there is something really serious going on in this marriage that is not godly.
One thing we need to learn as we go through this journey of marriage, we need to seek God’s counsel before we make any decisions that will have a life-time effect on us. If the truth be told, some people may seek God, but in doing so become impatient while waiting on confirmation from Him. What dangerous is some couples never seek God at all about their marriage and therefore, we often react on impulses and our carnal feelings. We may only turn to God as a last resort when you are desperate for what to do next. Do not get me wrong, some people’s agenda’s regarding marriage is truly for love & passion, but others may from desperation and guilt, the list can go on and on. Unfortunately, many of these marriages ends up in divorce.
May I suggest, that if you are thinking of marriage, wait on God to give you that soulmate, that kindred spirit person whom you can easily live a harmonious life with. I am not saying that marriage do not have its challenges; I would be a liar if I said that, because as I mentioned before, I have 25 years of marriage, and I have experienced enough challenges in those years to tell you, my grief came from not seeking and waiting on God before I made decisions.
Here is a resource I found to be helpful to those who are going through challenges and looking to finds solutions before they end up in divorce:
I want to end on a happy note, since this is a valentine’s message. If you want a long-lasting happy Christian marriage. I encourage you to look at God’s word and meditate individually and with your spouse, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed”? (Amos 3:3) Who wants to walk through life together miserably is a question we should ask ourselves? Ask God to give you a clear understanding of what the words mean, search the scriptures, and study each word in the passages and apply them to your life and your marriage. These scriptures that I have given you focus on husband-and-wife roles and relationships. A word of caution, I beg you please, do not by any means, use these Holy Scriptures to take advantage of your spouse. These scriptures are to bring harmony and order into the marriage, because God is a God of order, and he shows us how to live a harmonious life. I have seen and experienced abuse in a partner when it comes to the scripture, and it cuts like a knife It will tear you and marriage apart slowly but surely.
[Read (Ephesians 5:22 – 30) – and pray for humility together.]
Some good practices to do with your partner:
“Blessing speaks God’s shalom over a person. Shalom means more than peace; it connotes well-being, wholeness, health, and prosperity.
So, take time today to bless your spouse. Pray for God’s blessing to overflow in her/his life. Speak God’s shalom into everything she/he does and every relationship she/he has.
Try this: Lay hands on your spouse’s head and pray (Numbers 6), the Aaronic blessing, over your spouse. Let that blessing be an oil of gladness poured over your mate.”
The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace.
Below are some biblical passages to help you and your partner in your equally yoked marriage:
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy;
love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely, does not seek its own,
is not provoked, thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never fails. (1 Cor. 13:4-8)
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:29-33).
For His Glory~
Fay Brown 🤎
Happy Valentine’s Day ❤️